Man. 😖
This is one of those times where I have to say, @CoachGregAdams just DONT MISS! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
So at my yob, I'm a building Chief Engineer where I take care of 4 medical office buildings in an upscale suburb of ATL. So, anyone that saw the key word-- "MEDICAL", you should have picked up that the campus I take care of is PACKED with women of ALL ages, shapes, sizes, races, ethnicities, etc.
Now the Kayleighs treat me like a king, with conversation, smiles, buying me lunch, the whole gamut.
Of course, I don't have to mention that the sistas pretty much try to treat me like shit- lemme take that back, the OLD black women treat me like shit, while the 25 and under women affectionately call me "Unc", with a healthy side of flirting, compliments on my cologne, or SOMETHING when they get bold.
Now me being a 6'5", distinguished 51 year old man, clean cut, salt & pepper hair, sharply dressed, articulate & charming, I SHOULD have day to day struggles with women waiting to get a chance to run to HR (cuz we know hoes REALLY aint tryna WORK) But my maturity, discipline & red pill awareness gets me thru day to day struggles a NORMIE guy would have severe issues with. The biggest thing that gets me thru the day is having Coach playing in my Airpods ear buds. If someone starts talking to me, I just give the earbud a lil tap to pause it. A lot of us do the same thing!! Stop frontin!!
Anyway, I gotta tell yall, I'm one fella that walks around KNOWING none of the women even QUALIFY for me. (Coach Hit number 1🎯) And I get STRAGGS trying their passive agressive "I'm open for approach if you want to" tactics on me to try to get me to approach THEM (Coach hit number 2🎯). But because I know a lot of their business cuz they feel comfortable confiding in me about their personal lives, I know the walking disasters they REALLY are in their lives (Coach hit number 3🎯)
Just don't judge them, and they'll tell you EVERYTHING. Let them TALK!! (Coach hit number 4🎯)
PLUS, I have a "no stragg policy" (Coach hit number 5🎯)
I mean some of these hoes got some straight up ISSUES!! One day, Imma give yall story time on some of these old hoes. Holy SHIT man, yall gotta see and hear some of the shit I be hearing!! But lets get back to the show. (In my BEST Coach impression)
Now there's this nice lil shortie, white chick thats a receptionist at one of the physical therapy offices. She's about 5'1", 125. She' THICK Coach!! She about 35, but she the sweetest lil thing, but THEM BE THE ONES! (Coach hit number 6🎯) She got a REAL nice disposition, pleasant, we vibe on a lotta shit, like her boss is a straight beeyatch, and when she be talking, Staci, (thats her name) be giving me these looks and we be talking back & forth without saying anything (some of yall know what that is). The shit be funny cuz we don't be saying shit, but we be on the same wavelength. Now she is based, and has the kind of sense that lets me see that she is VERY sensible on some of the based conversations we have had. She dosen't play little "I don't know anything about that" games that females play when they try to peddle their "virtue". She has always been on the up and up with me, but I know on the low, she crushing on me. But I play it cool, cuz my BAG is more important. I know that even if I DID decide to plug her, shit can go REALLY left, cuz Kayleighs turn to Karens and the bait & switch is always in play (Coach hit number 7 & 8 🎯🎯
Now today, we were just choppin it up and she noticed my bracelets. She started looking at them, admiring them, then she started naming the beads, "Oh thats onyx, that one's obsidian, and thats Tiger Eye, thats a protection bracelet!"
My stomach sank.

"Do you have the stomach"

My lil munchkin a WITCH! 😩
COACH HIT NUMBER 9!!! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

Yeah man, ALL doubt went straight out the window on that one.
Inside, I was horribly disappointed.
But I held my poker face! 😑
Refer back to Coach hit number 4.

I guess that "protection" bracelet works! 😆🤔

So where there was maybe ONE, there are now NONE.
NONE of these hoes qualify for me.
Back to square 1.

Fellas, yall gotta admit the shit Coach teaches us on his daily shows is some of the most valuable information you could get that can literally SAVE YOUR LIFE!!
Pope Coachalini, you are the fucking man dude, and Coachgang LOVES you bro. (pause)

THANK YOU
-Joka