This book is not just a book. It’s a Bible of Freedom. It means far more to me than I can put into words and I hope my story will convey why….

Today was a bittersweet day…. We love to post successes but rarely do we mention our failures. The only time I ever experienced burning desire was from a white girl in Houston who had everything but big titties so I would rate her a 9. She saw me at an HEB and started a conversation w me. Green light. She had a great job, rich family, white collar shit. Me, I was a jacked athlete but I didn’t have the money like that. My physical appearance/presence/aura was what attracted her. The money didn’t matter. Height didn’t matter to her either bc she was 5’2”. But as @CoachGregAdams always says, everything w women is “right now”.

Up to that point I had never had a woman of that high caliber so I would do almost anything in order to keep her even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do. Eventually w a high caliber woman her family is going to ask “what kind of house are you buying/ what job are you getting/ church” etc. pushing you to make moves before you are ready, breaking down everything you can/can/ do/don’t do like a fraction. “Do it now/why won’t you do xyz?” The relationship cannot withstand this pressure and it inevitably collapses and what is sad is without those outside influences, the man & woman in the relationship were probably solid until the negative influences crept in. At no point during all of this will you be considered. You’re expected to go to church/family events etc whether you want to or not. When you don’t do what is expected of you her family is going to put you through the ringer. You are the man right now, but you will not survive the death by 1000 paper cuts they will give you and eventually she will not see you as the man anymore but instead as an obstacle. The relationship is likely not going to survive that gauntlet. It doesn’t matter if you’re ready to get married or if you’re ready to have kids, everyone else is ready for you to do that and they will press you to do it. Modern relationships require you sacrifice that control. It is the opposite of what man is accustomed to. We are hardwired to control our environment and our family.

I decided I could never be what she needed or wanted and I left before we became another tragic divorce story. Had I not walked away we would’ve both been miserable. It is never easy, ending a relationship, throwing away or deleting pictures of someone so you don’t look at them to think about them again etc.

Now that I am leveling up, I realize I just did not have the money or the leverage back then and thus I had no options. I was not ready for marriage or fatherhood. Engaging in that would’ve been a complete disaster. I wanted something I could not afford. I did not have the wisdom to raise children or be a husband. I did the right thing. That does not ease the pain of heartbreak. I’ve suffered five of them throughout my 33 years on this earth. Each of them have been different from the others, but each uniquely painful. This particular one, however, really stung in a barblike way.

Years later, I decided to give the family man life a try one more time, and I said, “ If this doesn’t work… never again”. After my last attempt, I realized society sees men as nothing more than utilities. Heartbroken by the reality I was forced to face, I decided to check out of the Matrix once and for all. All of this is what sent me to the red pill and ultimately how I found Coach. The pill that was even more bitter than the red pill was the after pill. I remember listening to Coach and being furious that what he was saying was true while also crying because there was a pain in my heart I knew nobody else could fix for me. When something is so painful and cuts so deep that it is indescribable… almost all of us have experienced at least one of these, and that is ultimately what sends us to the red pill. The PUAs etc. can act as if it’s all good and you can just tune out the pain and learn to move on, but the reality is if you are out here in the field, the likelihood is, you are going to get your heart broken and break some hearts.

Fast forward to today… I attended my friends son’s first birthday party. I generally hate parties, but I decided to attend because I could tell it meant a great deal to him. Only a small group of people were invited. I watched him and his girl hold their son and cut the cake so on and so forth and it certainly made me think about what could’ve been. He was so proud to be a father. I genuinely hope they make it. But I still can’t put my money on it because I know how some of the most beautiful relationships ended in absolute tragedy.

Now back at the crib enjoying a cigar and pondering life, love and what not… I can take this because it is probably the last party/holiday I will ever attend. I plan on being gone out of the country for most of the rest of my life. Hopefully it works out that way. It is difficult to leave behind a life that is all you have known.

Before holiday season of next year rolls around, I will be gone. I will take the eight months or so vacation to dwell on what I want to do for the rest of my life and go from there. What kind of lifestyle will I live? The free agent lifestyle. It is not the only option for men, but it is the best option for men.

PS- For those of you who wish to pursue marriage and fatherhood, I do not wish to discourage you. I only want you to know what you are up against because I assure you, you have no idea. You can listen to all of coach’s, teachings, marry the best woman you could possibly find, and it could still all fall apart. I wish you the best of luck. 🫡🙏